One Simple Tip That Will Help You Find Your Soulmate
It was a brilliant moonlit December night. The Mercedes was luxuriously silent. Keith Sweat played at conversation level. After a few miles uncle Pasha removed a partially smoked joint from the ash tray, lit it, turned up the stereo and pulled hard on the joint. He cracked the window before exhaling the smoke. The frigid air and the wind noise invigorated me and caused me to sit up rigidly in the seat. After a few more puffs, he flicked the joint out the window. It bounced off the rear window – the ashes flickered bright red before darting backward. He rolled up the window and used his knees to steer the car while expertly rolling another joint. Then he said, “I guess it’s a little late to have a conversation about the birds and the bees, you obviously know something about that, but I’d still like to point out a few things you should consider when choosing a woman.” I listened attentively. I knew from past experiences that the weed would help him to talk more freely and I was eager to hear what he had to say. He continued: “We both know, or at least it’s well known that people have infinitely complex personalities. You see, it’s hard to narrow any person down to a specific personality type, but for the sake of simplicity, at least in the context of male-female relationships, let’s just say that there are only two basic personality types.” He finished rolling the joint, wet it with his tongue and lit it. He pulled and exhaled. Pungent smoke filled the cabin. He continued, “Listen carefully because I don’t want you to miss anything.” I nodded. “Women are either dominant or submissive, givers or takers. In other words, a woman will either want to dominate you or be dominated by you. She will either want to give you everything she has or take everything that you have. That’s it! There is no in between.”
As he spoke I tried to apply this information to Monique and Sonya. He continued, “For instance, a man and woman who have dominant personality types will be in constant conflict. Likewise, two givers will never be able to satisfy each other. Do you follow?” I nodded reluctantly. “In other words, if you love to talk and be in control, you need to find a woman who loves to listen and take orders. Now I’m not saying that two dominants or two submissives can’t fall in love, especially when you’re young and hormone driven. But since these characteristics can’t be changed, all you’ll have is good sex and heated arguments. You follow?” I nodded in fascination. He continued, “Now I’m going to take this discussion to another level so pay close attention.” I nodded again to indicate that he had my attention, but I was busy trying to apply the knowledge to Monique and Sonya. He continued: “Before you choose your queen, it’s critical that you determine who you are. And don’t base it on what you want to be. Base it on who you really are. This is what the psychiatrist call an objective assessment. Do you follow?”
“Yes sir.” And I nodded. The weed was strong and giving me a contact high.
“The men in our family usually want to dominate the relationship. We’re strong men. But you, well… you might be different. You might be happier being dominated,” He smiled in jest, then continued, “These characteristics are more important than gender, hobbies, occupation, looks or interest. Do you know why?”
“Come on Jimmy. Pay closer attention. I just told you why; because the characteristics I just described won’t ever change. Let me put it to you like this; you might meet a lawyer who decides she wants to stop practicing law and become a school teacher, or you might meet a nurse who decides she wants to become a carpenter. But you’ll never meet; let me repeat, you will never meet a dominant woman who decides she wants to be submissive, or a selfish woman who decides she want to become a giver. She might be able to fake it for a while, but she’ll always go back to being the person she is. Do you understand now?”
I did not respond. My mind was ferociously performing calculations on Monique and Sonya.
“That’s your problem Jimmy,” He said, recognizing that my mind was churning. “You’re always trying to apply the knowledge before you have a full understanding. Slow down for a minute and just listen. You’ve got the rest of your life to think about those two knuckleheads you call yourself in love with, and in my opinion they seem like complete opposites. So I know you’re going through some bull shit with at least one of them.
“You’re right about that!” I said, grateful that he recognized my agony. He continued, “Now this is the last part of the knowledge, and then you can try to apply it to your situation. So listen carefully. No matter how smart you are, it’s hard to figure out which personality type you have or which one she has, but once you do, it won’t matter if she’s a high paid surgeon and you work at McDonalds, if the fit is there, you guys can make it and be happy. What I’m suggesting is that the person who controls the relationship is not based on gender, social status, occupation or income. Instead it’s based on who has the dominant personality. This is the reason a submissive high paid surgeon will happily submit to a dominant man who works at McDonalds.
On the other hand, a male surgeon with a submissive personality will never be able to satisfy his housewife if she’s also submissive. Do you see where this is going?
“Good.” He nodded in self approval as he pulled on the joint. “The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about who you are; then you’ll be able to choose a queen that’s a good fit for you.”
“He changed the CD to Luther Vandross and turned it up. The music was exceptionally clear and terrifically soothing. Or perhaps it was the contact high. After a couple miles I turned the music down and inquired, “If you’ve got all the answers, why are you still single?”
“Allah hasn’t blessed me with a queen, yet. And since I just got rich, I’m going to play the field for a little while…see what’s out there. I might be able to get Whitney Huston.”
He turned the music back up and continued pulling on the joint. I could tell he was absorbed in a fantasy involving Whitney. We drove home.
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